Wow. It’s been a year already since I’ve had to say goodbye
to my best friend, Garold Shafer. Some quick reflections from the past year:
When you have to say good-bye to someone so close, you
actually do it many times over. You do it almost daily, if not multiple times a
day. I do it every time I think about the great times we had, but more so when
I have a story, joke or memory to share and I know he’s the only one who would
get it. That’s when the perpetual
goodbye is the most difficult.
Why do we grieve so hard? I’ve read a lot on this before and was reminded of this again with this week’s curriculum for my small group. In the author’s words, “we grieve because deep down inside, we know goodbye isn’t supposed to be the last word.” It’s not how the story is supposed to end. I remember the conversation Kevin O’Neill and I had when he said, “It’s not how it’s supposed to be, but it’s the way it is.” All of these words speak to just how important, yet temporary this life can be. It also speaks to how broken things became when sin entered this world.
But, for believers in Christ, this isn’t the final word. This isn’t how our life ends. This isn’t the last chapter.
Why do we grieve so hard? I’ve read a lot on this before and was reminded of this again with this week’s curriculum for my small group. In the author’s words, “we grieve because deep down inside, we know goodbye isn’t supposed to be the last word.” It’s not how the story is supposed to end. I remember the conversation Kevin O’Neill and I had when he said, “It’s not how it’s supposed to be, but it’s the way it is.” All of these words speak to just how important, yet temporary this life can be. It also speaks to how broken things became when sin entered this world.
But, for believers in Christ, this isn’t the final word. This isn’t how our life ends. This isn’t the last chapter.
But we do not want you
to be uninformed brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve
as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose
again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen
asleep.
1 Thessalonians
4:13-14
IF Jesus really did rise from the dead on the third day,
then this changes everything. Death has been defeated. This broken world is now
only temporary, AND there is hope that we too, only because of God’s grace, can
enjoy death defeated. Paul mocks death because to a believer in Christ, it’s
only temporary and has no grip on us.
It doesn’t mean that we grieve less. In fact, I think it increases our depth of mourning, because we know how the story ends and we long for the beautiful ending that is yet to come. That is what makes it SO hard some days, but it’s also what gets us through each day as well.
I’m longing for that day more and more. But at the same time, every time I drive a dirt road I feel like he’s there riding shotgun with me. That thought makes me smile and I crank up the radio just a bit louder. I know Garold would want us all to go on about our lives and to spread as much kindness, love and service to other people so we can enrich their lives. I know that’s what he would want us to do because that’s exactly what he did so well for those who knew him and loved him.
It doesn’t mean that we grieve less. In fact, I think it increases our depth of mourning, because we know how the story ends and we long for the beautiful ending that is yet to come. That is what makes it SO hard some days, but it’s also what gets us through each day as well.
I’m longing for that day more and more. But at the same time, every time I drive a dirt road I feel like he’s there riding shotgun with me. That thought makes me smile and I crank up the radio just a bit louder. I know Garold would want us all to go on about our lives and to spread as much kindness, love and service to other people so we can enrich their lives. I know that’s what he would want us to do because that’s exactly what he did so well for those who knew him and loved him.
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